Script to Screen: “Alien”
Here is a memorable scene from “Alien,” screenplay Dan O’Bannon, story by Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett.
Here is a memorable scene from “Alien,” screenplay Dan O’Bannon, story by Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett.
Setup: There is an alien on board the spaceship Nostromo. The ship’s captain Dallas has entered the air shaft to find the alien and kill it using a flamethrower. The other crew members are tracking Dallas’ location:
INT. AIR SHAFT
Completely dark.
Dallas turns on his helmet light.
Flips switch on throat mike.
DALLAS
Do you receive me. Ripley.
Parker. Lambert.
INT. EQUIPMENT MAINTENANCE AREA
The hum of vast cooling plants.
Large air shafts run off in different directions.
Parker and Lambert stand ready by a duct.
Lambert hits the wall amp button.
LAMBERT
We’re in position. I’ll try
and pick you up on the tracker.
Parker hefts his flamethrower.
DALLAS
(voice over)
Parker, if it tries to come
out by you, make sure you drive
it back in. I’ll push it forward.
PARKER
Right.
INT. AIR LOCK VESTIBULE
Near the starboard air lock.
Ripley pops open the hatch.
The air lock now open and ready.
She moves to the air duct opening.
RIPLEY
Air lock open.
DALLAS
(voice over)
Ready.
RIPLEY
Ready.
INT. AIR SHAFT
Dallas begins to crawl forward.
The tunnel is narrow…
Only a foot or two wider than his shoulders.
DALLAS
I’m under way.
Turns a corner.
Several more tight turns.
Instinctively Dallas pulls back.
Raises the flamethrower.
Fires a blast around the corner into the darkness.
It roars loudly in the confined tube.
Smoke drifts back into his face.
INT. MAINTENANCE LEVEL
A large rectangular duct in one wall.
PARKER
That’s where it’s got to come
out, if it leaves the main shaft.
He throws a switch.
A metal pane rises and seals off the opening.
LAMBERT
Let’s keep it open. I’d like
to know if anything’s coming.
Reluctantly, Parker again throws the switch and raises the
metal pane.
INT. AIR LOCK VESTIBULE
Ripley waiting.
INT. AIR SHAFT
Dallas still crawling on hands and knees.
Ahead the shaft takes an abrupt downward turn.
He moves toward the corner.
Fires another blast from the flamethrower.
Then starts crawling down, head first.
INT. EQUIPMENT MAINTENANCE AREA
Lambert sees something on the tracker.
LAMBERT
Beginning to get a reading on
you.
INT. AIR SHAFT
The shaft makes yet another turn.
Puts Dallas into an almost immobilized position.
INT. FOOD STORAGE LOCKER NUMBER 12
Ash staring at the ventilator opening.
INT. AIR SHAFT
Dallas against a wall of the shaft.
Clutching his flamethrower.
Whispers into his throat mike.
DALLAS
Ripley.
INT. AIR LOCK VESTIBULE
RIPLEY
Read you clear.
INT. AIR SHAFT
DALLAS
I don’t think this shaft goes
much farther… It’s getting hot
in here.
He readies the flamethrower.
INT. EQUIPMENT MAINTENANCE AREA
Parker readies his weapon.
INT. AIR SHAFT — DOUBLE-TIERED PASSAGEWAY
The air shaft tributary opens into a larger two-tier air
tunnel.
Dallas crawls out and stands.
Moves to a catwalk floor. Looks about.
Moves forward. Reaches a repair junction.
Sits.
His feet dangle beneath the catwalk floor to the next level.
DALLAS
Lambert, what kind of reading
are you getting.
INT. MAINTENANCE LEVEL
Lambert huddled over her tracker.
Puzzled.
LAMBERT
I’m not sure. There seems
to be some kind of double
image.
INT. AIR SHAFT DOUBLE-TIERED PASSAGEWAY
Dallas sitting.
His feet still dangling in the dark beneath the catwalk.
DALLAS
It may be interference. I’ll
push on ahead.
Dallas begins to rise.
From below, a gentle movement toward the hanging feet.
A hand reaches up.
Misses his leg as Dallas moves ahead.
Further on.
DALLAS
Lambert, am I coming in any
clearer.
LAMBERT
(voice over)
It’s clear all right, but I’m
still getting two blips.
(pause)
I’m not sure which one is
which.
Dallas stops.
Turns around.
Looks back down through the catwalk.
Lowers the nose of the flamethrower, his finger on the
trigger.
From behind him, the hand reaches up.
The Alien is the front signal.
INT. AIR LOCK VESTIBULE
Ripley bends forward.
Hears the sounds of the struggle…
And Dallas’ screams.
She cries out.
RIPLEY
Dallas…Dallas…
INT. EQUIPMENT MAINTENANCE AREA
Lambert and Parker.
Hearing it all.
RIPLEY
(voice over)
Oh my God.
Then silence.
And here is the scene in the movie:
I’ll see you in comments for a discussion of this terrific scene from Alien.
One of the single best things you can do to learn the craft of screenwriting is to read the script while watching the movie. After all a screenplay is a blueprint to make a movie and it’s that magic of what happens between printed page and final print that can inform how you approach writing scenes. That is the purpose of Script to Screen, a weekly series on GITS where we analyze a memorable movie scene and the script pages that inspired it.
UPDATE: Some terrific analysis from ZoeTheCat in comments:
A classic suspense scene from a great movie.
The movie is vastly superior to the written script in this scene for a variety of reasons all falling under the heading of TENSION.
The script attempts a weaker form of scare tactic by showing the alien pawing at air close to the unaware Dallas. I think it is far more effective to leave the audience in the same frame of reference as Dallas (ie: where the F*** IS IT!?).
The precursor of finding the slime is a great addition which further heightens tension. We now know it is there, but where?
I also like the humanizing addition of Dallas showing great fear not present in the script; “Uhhh, am I clear? I want to get the hell out of here.“ Here is a character that we as an audience have looked up to as a leader and voice of calmness and rationality. If he is scared, then we are terrified as we continue to lose our psychological mooring.
But Lambert (Veronica Cartwright) deserves a great deal of credit. Her movie dialog is far, far more compelling than the script. Comparing script to movie, we identify with her fear in the actual voice-overs: “Are you sure it’s not there, I mean It’s got to be there…” This is just a tad more compelling than “It’s clear alright, but I’m still getting two blips…“ The single most powerful part of the scene is how the (Sorry, but you’re going the wrong way) is delivered. The script is less effective. The better way to realize the mistake is by showing Dallas’ action while hearing the terrified Lambert deliver the punch line off-screen “nooo, not that way, the other way… ”
I am not a fan of cheap ‘gotcha’ scare tactics, and the final payoff (alien with outstretched arms) is not one of those. It is the perfect culmination of a terrific stretch of tension. I prefer the Dallas POV over the scripted “a hand reaches up” with off-screen screams. A perfect ending to a perfect scene.
That is a spot on take. And an object lesson as we ‘direct’ action / thriller scenes in our scripts, not with camera angles, but simply by where we choose to focus the attention through scene description and secondary slug lines. As Spielberg proved in Jaws when he didn’t have Bruce the mechanical shark available to him for the early weeks of shooting, visualizing what characters don’t see can be much more frightening than what they do see. That sets up for a big payoff when they [and we] finally do see the object of terror.
For more articles in the Script To Screen series, go here.