Reader Question: Is it okay for there to be more action lines in an action script?
Once again into the breach against so-called screenwriting ‘rules’.
Once again into the breach against so-called screenwriting ‘rules’.
From Alan Rambaldini:
I’m reading the script for ‘Clash of the Titans’ and there is much more action lines than I’ve been told is ideal. The paragraphs are still short, but there can be many lined up one after another. Is this generally the case for action movies, or is this an exception that proves the rule?
It stands to reason an action movie will have more action lines because there’s more… well… action. Come with me now for a brief foray into the wonderful world of action writing. First an excerpt from Terminator 2:
SARAH has lost sight of John. It is much of a goodbye as they will
have.
She turns as the T-1000 closes on her. She is half-slumped against
the sooty machines, looking barely conscious. She struggles to load
a shell into the empty weapon. At the last instant she whips up the
RIOT GUN and FIRES.
T-1000’s face is blown open, but quickly reforms as it closes on her.
She fumbles to get another shell into the magazine but —
THUNK! A steel needle slams through her shoulder, pinning her.
The polymorphic killer cocks back its other hand. The index finger
extends as a gleaming needle, toward her eye —
T-1000
Call to John. Now.
WHAM!! SOMETHING whistles down on the T-1000 with such force that is
cleaves it head and body in two down to the naval. The 6-foot steel
bar is imbedded in its body. Terminator hurls the killer off Sarah.
The T-1000 pulls the steel shaft out of itself and attacks him with
fury.
Swinging again and again. Hammering Terminator back. Terminator
falls back against the wall.
Behind the T-1000 is an enormous I-beam, hanging from two chains. It
is used to lift ingots into the smelters, and it runs on a linear track.
The T-1000 grabs the I-beam and rolls it down the track. Straight at
Terminator. The two-ton girder smashes into his chest, crushing the
armor.
The T-1000 pulls the I-beam back, and then heaves it forward again.
Terminator turns and takes the second blow on the shoulder. We hear
metal crush and break inside him. He sags, turning to grip the wall…
The third blow slams into his back, smashing his spine and pelvis. We
hear servos ratcheting and failing. He drops to his knees, crucified
on a wall of machinery.
The fourth blow is centered between his shoulder blades. Sound of
crushing metal. His skull is partially caved in.
He slides to the floor.
ON THE T-1000, emotionless as it walks forward.
Next an excerpt from The Bourne Identity:
They are shredding the street — FIRING ruthlessly at each
other and — NOW THE POLICE ARE HERE — BLOCKING both ends
of the street. GUNS are drawn — BOURNE’s vulnerable on two
flanks. The COPS are YELLING. And now —
THE PROFESSOR BLASTS the COPS — And now things have changed.
THREE WAY FIREFIGHT and BOURNE grabs MARIE and they dive
into —
INT. SMALL EPICERIE — DAY
And the PROFESSOR shreds the store as BOURNE attemps to
fire back. SHIT flying everywhere in here — hard to see
and — The PROFESSOR is advancing on them — cops are no
match for his fire power. They move to the back — kick
open a door —
INT. HIGHWALLED COURTYARD — DAY
BOURNE and MARIE cross this small courtyard, the PROFESSOR
is right on their heels. CRASH through a door — and now
they are in —
INT. SMALL SWEATSHOP — DAY
COUPLE of ASIAN WOMEN sewing in here. One MAN in charge —
and BOURNE and MARIE charging through — the MAN about to
say something — but now the PROFESSOR is on their tail and —
INT. SMALL AFRICAN SHOP — DAY
Making god knows what in here — vats of something. Small
grouping of workers — BOURNE shutting the door behind
him — it’s shredded with BULLET HOLES. BOURNE and MARIE
racing to the next door as — BAM — the PROFESSOR kicks the
door open — BOURNE about to fire — but there is a WOMAN
right behind the PROFESSOR! Can’t do it — turns to run
as — RATATATAT —
The PROFESSOR FIRES as BOURNE and MARIE dive into —
INT. LIVE POULTRY SHOP — DAY
And now CHICKEN feathers are flying everywhere — the glass
at the front of the door is shattering. BOURNE and MARIE
make it through the gauntlet.
EXT. BELLEVILLE — STREET — DAY
And BOURNE and MARIE are running. And he is reaching into
his pocket — fishing around — and just as he pulls out the
car keys — we recognize this as the street they parked
their car on and —
BY MARIE’s CAR
BOURNE unlocks the door — pops MARIE’s open. And —
THERE’S A COP — yelling at them and — BOURNE hits the
gas — they fly out of their parking space — BAM!! The COP
fires, shattering their windshield and there — up ahead —
THE PROFESSOR coming out — about to FIRE — BOURNE aims for
him — forces him to dive out of the way and —
ONE QUICK MOVE around a TRUCK and they are free.
Finally an oldie but goodie, 48 Hrs.:
Hammond starts after Luther. Cates turns, starts to aim at
Hammond. Hesitates…
PASSENGER WALKWAY
Panic has overtaken everyone as they try to escape the madman
with the gun.
Ganz and Billy elbow and kick their way through the crowd,
tugging Rosalie along…
Cates, gun in hand, creates further-panic as he moves after
Ganz.
Ganz grabs a man beside him.
Shoves him hard into the passengers in back.
The man knocks over several more people creating a roadblock.
Ganz vaults over the railing and starts for the trains.
Cates loses a few more precious seconds grappling through the
terrorized passengers…
TRAIN AREA
The usually jammed area looks like an empty stockyard. The
patrons huddle in fear against any available wall.
Cates bursts out of the stairwell…
TUNNEL
Red and green signal lights. The light goes red, a train
roars up and the doors hiss open.
Billy and Ganz fight through the passengers getting off the
train, jump on board; Billy pulls Rosalie behind him.
CATES
Running for the doors…
See, lots of scene description. Whoever this mysterious person or collective wisdom is that suggests there is an “ideal” amount of action description is fibbing. There is no ideal amount! If there is any sort of ideal, it’s this: That you tell the story you need to tell in the best, most entertaining way possible. That’s the ideal!
Are we smart to break up scene description into smaller paragraphs? Generally yes. For example, here is a paragraph of scene description from 48 Hrs.:
He’s going to kill Cates. But first be glances at Algren.
Then, almost casually, shoots him twice with Cates’ .44.
Algren staggers back. Dead before he hits the floor. Cates
twists sideways just as Ganz fires. The bullet misses. Again
Frizzy starts screaming and struggling. Ganz swipes the woman
across the head with the gun. Her body slumps to the floor.
Police sirens can be heard in the distance. Cates makes an
attempt for Algren’s gun. A bullet splatters against the
floor only inches from his outstretched fingers. The gun
skitters out of reach.
Bear in mind that script was written 30+ years ago and reflected the style sensibilities of that era. Today a screenwriter might approach it like this:
He’s going to kill Cates. But first be glances at Algren.
Then, almost casually, shoots him twice with Cates’ .44 —
Algren staggers back. Dead before he hits the floor —
Cates twists sideways just as Ganz fires. The bullet misses —
Again Frizzy starts screaming and struggling —
Ganz swipes the woman across the head with the gun. Her body
slumps to the floor —
Police sirens can be heard in the distance —
Cates makes an attempt for Algren’s gun. A bullet splatters
against the floor only inches from his outstretched fingers —
The gun skitters out of reach —
Easier to read. Each paragraph suggests a camera shot so we get to ‘direct’ the action without using camera lingo. So is this approach ‘right’ and the 1982 approach ‘wrong’? No, because there are no rules about screenwriting style. There are trends, conventional wisdom, and all the rest, and you should be aware of them most assuredly. And more than likely, you would be better off approaching description like the latter version. But that doesn’t make it right. Just more readable.
By the way, the latter approach will also add to your page count. For example, the latter version above is 17 lines. The former version is 10. You keep that up, you could add anywhere from 10–15 pages to your script. So does that make it ‘wrong’? This shows how off-base it is to bring ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ into a discussion of script format and style.
So, Alan, what’s my point? My humble advice: Don’t worry about so-called ‘rules’. Rather focus on going into your story and finding its soul. Then make sure you think about the story, its genre and how you approach style because that will inform you about your Narrative Voice. And let that creative choice be what inspires you to write the way you write action in your script.
Final note: If you’re writing an action script, you should immediately stop everything and go read about 25–50 action scripts, including 10 from the last 5 years so you’re up to speed with current style sensibilities. Just immerse yourself in them and while doing that, pay attention to the various approaches to style and scene description. That’s probably the single best thing you can do to grok this whole issue.
How about it, GITS readers? What are your thoughts on this subject?