Daily Dialogue — October 22, 2019

Centurion: What’s this, then? “Romanes Eunt Domus”? “People called Romanes, they go the house”?
Brian: It says “Romans, Go Home”.
Centurion: No it doesn’t. What’s Latin for “Roman”? Come on!
Brian: “Romanus”.
Centurion: Goes like?
Brian: “Annus”?
Centurion: Vocative plural of “annus” is?
Brian: “Anni”?
Centurion: “Romani”.

The Centurion corrects the first line of Brian’s graffiti.

Centurion: “Eunt”. What is “eunt”?
Brian: “Go”.
Centurion: Conjugate the verb “to go”.
Brian: “Ire, eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt”.
Centurion: So “eunt” is?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative. “They go”.
Centurion: But “Romans, go home” is an order, so you must use the…?
Brian: The imperative!
Centurion: Which is?
Brian: Um, oh, oh, “i”.
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Plural. “Ite”.
Centurion: “Ite”.

The Centurion corrects the second line of Brian’s graffiti.

Centurion: “Domus”? Nominative? “Go home”. This is motion towards, isn’t it, Brian?
Brian: Dative!

The Centurion draws his sword and holds it to Brian’s neck.

Brian: No, not dative! Accusative! Accusative! “Domum”, sir. “Ad domum”.
Centurion: Except that “domus” takes the…
Brian: The locative, sir.
Centurion: Which is?
Brian: “Domum”.
Centurion: “Domum”.

The Centurion corrects the last line of Brian’s graffiti.

Centurion: Understand?
Brian: Yes, sir.
Centurion: Now write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar. And if it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off.

— Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979), written by Graham Chapman & John Cleese & Terry Gilliam & Eric Idle & Terry Jones & Michael Palin

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Teaching. Today’s suggestion by Jonathan Melikidse.

Trivia: The only character to appear in all four Python films (And Now for Something Completely Different (1971), Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), The Meaning of Life (1983), and Life of Brian is God.

Dialogue On Dialogue: For those of us who suffered through Latin classes, this is a wonderful teaching spoof.