Daily Dialogue — January 16, 2020

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
Ted: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7… Minute… Abs.
Ted: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you’re going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin’ there, there’s 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted: I would go for the 7.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.
Ted: You guarantee it? That’s — how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you’re not happy with the first 7 minutes, we’re gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That’s it. That’s our motto. That’s where we’re comin’ from. That’s from A to B.
Ted: That’s right. That’s — that’s good. That’s good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you’re in trouble, huh?

Hitchhiker convulses.

Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody’s comin’ up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won’t even get your heart goin’, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted: That — good point.
Hitchhiker: 7’s the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that’s the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin’ on a branch, eatin’ lots of sunflowers on my uncle’s ranch. You know that old children’s tale from the sea. It’s like you’re dreamin’ about Gorgonzola cheese when it’s clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted: Why?
Hitchhiker: ’Cause you’re fuckin’ fired!

— There’s Something About Mary (1998), screenplay by Ed Decter & John J. Strauss and Peter Farrelly & Bobby Farrelly, story by Ed Decter & John J. Strauss

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Hitchhiking.

Trivia: After the financial losses suffered from Kingpin (1996), the Farrelly brothers thought their next film would probably be their last. So they decided to go all out and deliver the most hysterically black comedy they could dream up. When There’s Something About Mary (1998) became a box-office smash hit, the Farrelly’s careers were safe to continue.

Dialogue On Dialogue: The nightmare of picking up a hitchhiker and they turn out to be complete weirdos.