Daily Dialogue — January 10, 2019

Sheldrake: Look, Baxter, I’m not stupid. I know everything that goes on in this building — in every department — on every floor — every day of the year. 
Bud: You do? 
Sheldrak: (rises, starts pacing) In 1957, we had an employee here, name of Fowler. He was very popular, too. Turned out he was running a bookie joint right in the Actuarial Department tying up the switchboard, figuring the odds on our I.B.M. machines — so the day before the Kentucky Derby, I called in the Vice Squad and we raided the thirteenth floor. 
Bud: (worried) The Vice Squad? 
Sheldrake: That’s right, Baxter. 
Bud: What — what’s that got to do with me? I’m not running any bookie joint. Sheldrake: What kind of joint are you running? 
Bud: Sir? 
Sheldrake: There’s a certain key floating around the office — from Kirkeby to Vanderhof to Eichelberger to Dobisch — it’s the key to a certain apartment — and you know who that apartment belongs to? 
Bud: Who? 
Sheldrake: Loyal, cooperative, resourceful C. C. Baxter. 
Bud: Oh. 
Sheldrake: Are you going to deny it? 
Bud: No, sir. I’m not going to deny it. But if you’d just let me explain — 
Sheldrake: You better. 
Bud: (a deep breath) Well, about six months ago — I was going to night school, taking this course in Advanced Accounting — and one of the guys in our department — he lives in Jersey — he was going to a banquet at the Biltmore — his wife was meeting him in town, and he needed someplace to change into a tuxedo — so I gave him the key and word must have gotten around — because the next thing I knew, all sorts of guys were suddenly going to banquets — and when you give the key to one guy, you can’t say no to another and the whole thing got out of hand — pardon me.

He whips out the nasal-spray, administers a couple of quick squirts up each nostril.

Sheldrake: Baxter, an insurance company is founded on public trust. Any employee who conducts himself in a manner unbecoming… How many charter members are there in this little club of yours? 
Bud: Just those four — out of a total of 31,259 — so actually, we can be very proud of our personnel — percentage-wise. 
Sheldrake: That’s not the point. Four rotten apples in a barrel — no matter how large the barrel — you realize that if this ever leaked out —
Bud: Oh, it won’t. Believe me. And it’s not going to happen again. From now on, nobody is going to use my apartment —

— The Apartment (1960), written by Billy Wilder, I.A.L. Diamond

The Daily Dialogue theme for the week: Boss.

Trivia: Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond would allow not even the slightest deviation from their script. Shirley MacLaine drove them crazy with her ad-libbing. She was forced to do one of the elevator scenes five times because she kept missing one word.

Dialogue On Dialogue: Sheldrake (Fred MacMurray) is a conniving boss. In this scene, it appears that he’s about to ream Bud (Jack Lemmon), when in fact he breaking down Baxter to set him up to ask for the key for his (Sheldrake) own trysts with Fran Kubelik (Shirely MacLaine) for whom Baxter has a thing. Such. A. Great. Movie.