ChatGPT is a terrible screenwriter
I fed the AI program several different prompts. The results? Trash. And what’s with its obsession with parentheticals?
I fed the AI program several different prompts. The results? Trash. And what’s with its obsession with parentheticals?
A few months ago, The Hollywood Reporter quoted Aaron Sorkin at a recent Adobe Summit 2023 event on his thoughts about generative AI.
“No. I don’t [think AI could write The West Wing] because — here’s what I assume has happened,” The Newsroom creator said. “Whether it’s that — there’s roughly the same kind of software for writing a hit song — I assume that they have loaded into a machine a zillion very successful screenplays, whether they’re thrillers or Westerns or romantic comedies. And a computer can then turn out something similar, but a computer didn’t write those screenplays that are being fed into the machine in the first place. And I think you’re going to enjoy things done by humans more.”
The article noted that generative AI is on the minds of Hollywood writers.
Recently, it’s been at the center of the Writers Guild of America’s contract negotiations with studios and streamers as it pushes to prohibit AI from being used as source material, as well as AI-written works and AI-rewritten works from being covered under its contract. The union also wants to prevent writing created by AI from being considered for credits.
I figured I’d give it a try. I went to ChatGPT and gave it this prompt:
Please write a monologue Aaron Sorkin style for the character President of the United States Josiah Bartlet as he confronts a moral crisis: Reveal incriminating evidence against a rival politician or not.
Here is what ChatGPT generated:
(Setting: The Oval Office. President Josiah Bartlet is sitting behind his desk, looking pensive. His Chief of Staff, Leo McGarry, enters.)
LEO: Sir, we need to talk.
BARTLET: (Looking up) Leo, what’s going on?
LEO: The team’s put together a file on Senator Randall. We’ve got evidence of some pretty serious wrongdoing.
BARTLET: (Sighing) I was afraid this was coming. I knew there was something off about that guy.
LEO: We’ve got enough to take him down, sir. But it’s going to get messy.
BARTLET: (Rubbing his forehead) Damn it, Leo. Why does it always have to be messy?
LEO: (Shrugs) That’s politics, sir.
BARTLET: (Shaking his head) No. No, it shouldn’t be. We’re supposed to be better than this. We’re supposed to be fighting for the people, not for our own gain.
LEO: (Nods) I know, sir. But sometimes we have to make tough decisions.
BARTLET: (Sighs) I don’t want to do this, Leo. I don’t want to play dirty like they do.
LEO: (Sits down across from Bartlet) Sir, I know this is difficult. But if we don’t do this, if we don’t expose Senator Randall for who he really is, he’s going to keep doing what he’s doing. He’s going to keep hurting people.
BARTLET: (Pauses, looking conflicted) I just…I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I can be the one to ruin a man’s career.
LEO: (Softly) You’re not ruining his career, sir. He did that himself. You’re just shining a light on it.
BARTLET: (Looks up at Leo) What if it backfires? What if people start to question our motives? What if we lose support?
LEO: (Sternly) We can’t think about that, sir. We have to do what’s right, no matter the cost. And if we lose support, so be it. We’ll fight for what’s right anyway.
BARTLET: (Nods slowly) You’re right, Leo. We have to do what’s right. Even if it’s hard. Even if it’s messy.
LEO: (Smiles) That’s the spirit, sir.
BARTLET: (Stands up, looking determined) Alright then. Let’s do this. Let’s show the American people what Senator Randall is really made of.
LEO: (Stands up as well) Yes, sir. We’ll get to work.
BARTLET: (Walking to the door) And Leo?
LEO: (Following him) Yes, sir?
BARTLET: (Turns around, looking serious) Let’s make sure we do this the right way. No underhanded tactics. No dirty tricks. Just the truth.
LEO: (Nods) Agreed, sir. We’ll do this the right way.
On the nose dialogue befitting a 50s daytime drama. But with all the fuss about generative AI, I figured it deserved more of a chance. So I hit on a series of five movie themes: David Lynch, Stoner Movie, Indiana Jones, M. Night Shyamalan, and Alfred Hitchcock. I gave ChatGPT an initial prompt, then two additional opportunities to regenerate content. Here are those tests.
In the style of filmmaker David Lynch, write a scene in which an FBI agent confronts a psychopathic killer who sings “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To” while assaulting people.
Here is the scene ChatGPT produced:
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE — NIGHT
The warehouse is dark and decrepit, the only light coming from a flickering bulb hanging from the ceiling. In the middle of the room, an FBI agent, AGENT SMITH, stands facing a man in a straightjacket, the notorious psychopathic killer known as THE CRYBABY KILLER.
AGENT SMITH You know why I’m here, Crybaby. It’s time for you to pay for your crimes.
THE CRYBABY KILLER looks up at AGENT SMITH and starts singing “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To” in a high-pitched, almost childlike voice.
THE CRYBABY KILLER It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to…
AGENT SMITH Enough of this nonsense. You’ve been assaulting people and leaving a trail of destruction wherever you go. It’s time to put an end to this.
THE CRYBABY KILLER continues to sing, his voice growing louder and more manic.
THE CRYBABY KILLER You would cry too if it happened to you!
Suddenly, the lights in the warehouse go out, leaving the room in complete darkness. The only sound is the sound of THE CRYBABY KILLER’s singing, now distorted and echoing.
AGENT SMITH What the hell is going on?
As AGENT SMITH fumbles for his flashlight, he hears the sound of something moving in the darkness. Suddenly, a hand reaches out and grabs him from behind.
AGENT SMITH What the-?
THE CRYBABY KILLER’s singing grows louder and more deranged as AGENT SMITH struggles to break free. Just when he thinks it’s all over, the lights come back on, revealing that THE CRYBABY KILLER is still restrained in his straightjacket.
AGENT SMITH What the hell just happened?
THE CRYBABY KILLER smiles a twisted, sinister smile.
THE CRYBABY KILLER It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.
AGENT SMITH shakes his head, trying to shake off the bizarre experience.
AGENT SMITH You’re going to pay for what you’ve done, Crybaby. The law doesn’t tolerate your kind.
THE CRYBABY KILLER just keeps smiling, his eyes glinting with madness.
THE CRYBABY KILLER Oh, I’ll pay, Agent Smith. But I’ll cry if I want to.
In my view, the dialogue is wooden. The only thing that makes the scene interesting is this element of the prompt: The killer has a “theme song” and it is “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want to.” But that was my idea.
That said, I have to hand it to A.I.: that’s a fun last line.
I asked it to regenerate the response. Here is Version 2.0:
FADE IN:
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE — NIGHT
FBI Agent JAMES enters the warehouse, his gun drawn and ready. The sound of someone singing can be heard echoing through the halls. James cautiously walks through the dark, damp space until he reaches a room with a dimly lit lamp in the center.
In the center of the room stands the PSYCHOPATHIC KILLER, dressed in a tattered dress and covered in blood. The killer is holding a knife and singing “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To” while attacking a helpless victim tied to a chair.
James approaches the killer, his gun still drawn.
JAMES: (firmly) Drop the knife and put your hands up.
The killer stops singing and turns to face James, still clutching the knife.
KILLER: (smiling) It’s my party, and I’ll do what I want.
The killer lunges at James with the knife, but James is quick to dodge and shoot the killer in the leg. The killer falls to the ground, still singing.
KILLER: (singing through the pain) It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to…
JAMES: (gritting his teeth) Shut up.
James approaches the killer, his gun pointed at the killer’s head.
JAMES: Who are you working for? Who’s behind these killings?
The killer just continues to sing, ignoring James’ questions.
KILLER: (singing) It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to…
James grows increasingly frustrated as the killer continues to sing. He points his gun at the killer’s head, ready to pull the trigger.
JAMES: (shouting) I said shut up!
The killer finally stops singing and looks up at James with a crazed look in their eyes.
KILLER: (whispering) It’s not about the party, it’s about the tears.
James doesn’t understand what the killer means, but before he can ask, the killer reaches for something hidden behind their back.
James reacts quickly, pulling the trigger and firing multiple shots at the killer.
The killer falls to the ground, dead.
James looks down at the killer’s lifeless body and shakes his head in disbelief.
JAMES: (whispering) What kind of party was this?
FADE TO BLACK.
Again, it all seems pretty hackneyed, but then there’s this line of dialogue: “It’s not about the party, it’s about the tears.”
In both cases, there is one line of dialogue that stands out, both riffing off the lyrics to the song.
I tried Regenerate Response one more time. Here is Version 3.0:
FADE IN:
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE — NIGHT
FBI AGENT DERRICK (45) enters the dimly lit warehouse with his gun drawn. He walks cautiously, scanning the surroundings for any sign of the killer. Suddenly, a man’s voice fills the room, singing “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To.” The sound echoes and reverberates, making it difficult for Derrick to pinpoint the source.
AGENT DERRICK: (without lowering his gun) Where are you, you sick bastard?
The singing continues, growing louder and more maniacal.
AGENT DERRICK: (shouting) Stop singing and show yourself!
The singing abruptly stops, and the room falls silent. After a moment of eerie quiet, the sound of footsteps echoes from behind a stack of crates. Derrick cautiously moves towards the crates, gun at the ready. Suddenly, a man jumps out from behind the crates, brandishing a large knife.
KILLER: (singing in a chilling tone) It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to. Cry if I want to, cry if I want to…
Derrick dodges the killer’s first strike and fires his gun, but the bullet misses. The killer lunges again, and this time, Derrick manages to graze his shoulder. The killer laughs maniacally and continues to sing as he swings his knife wildly.
AGENT DERRICK: (shouting) You’re going to pay for what you’ve done!
KILLER: (singing) It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to…
The killer lunges forward again, but this time, Derrick is ready. He dodges the attack and lands a solid punch to the killer’s jaw, sending him reeling backward. The killer falls to the ground, still singing.
KILLER: (singing weakly) …cry if I want to…
Derrick moves in to apprehend the killer, but as he gets closer, he realizes the man has stopped breathing. He is dead, still clutching his knife and wearing a maniacal smile on his face.
AGENT DERRICK: (to himself) What kind of monster was he?
Derrick holsters his gun and moves to call for backup, shaken by the encounter with the psychopathic killer who sang “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To” while assaulting people.
FADE OUT.
This version is truly awful. And what is it with the abandoned warehouse as a setting? Feels very trope-y.
Next up: Stoner Movie.
Write a scene from a stoner movie. Seth and Kenny are in a car in a fast food joint drive thru. The name of the restaurant: Chippy Dippy. Seth drives. Kenny in the passenger seat. They are next in line to get to the speakerphone. They swap taking a hit on a joint. They are exceedingly stoned. This is a comedy. Their interactions with the speakerphone man should be funny as they struggle to order food.
Here is the scene ChatGPT produced:
Seth pulls up to the speakerphone at Chippy Dippy and rolls down the window.
Speakerphone Man: “Welcome to Chippy Dippy, can I take your order?”
Seth turns to Kenny, who is holding the joint.
Seth: “You wanna go first, man?”
Kenny takes a long drag on the joint and exhales slowly.
Kenny: “Nah, man, you go ahead.”
Seth nods and turns back to the speakerphone.
Seth: “Uh, yeah, can I get a number five, please?”
Speakerphone Man: “Sure thing, what kind of drink would you like with that?”
Seth looks back at Kenny.
Seth: “What kind of drink do I want, man?”
Kenny shrugs and takes another hit on the joint.
Kenny: “I dunno, man, just get a Coke or something.”
Seth turns back to the speakerphone.
Seth: “Uh, yeah, can I get a Coke with that?”
Speakerphone Man: “Okay, anything else?”
Seth looks back at Kenny, who is staring off into space.
Seth: “You want anything, man?”
Kenny shakes his head.
Kenny: “Nah, I’m good.”
Seth turns back to the speakerphone.
Seth: “No, that’s it, thanks.”
Speakerphone Man: “Alright, that’ll be $7.50 at the window.”
Seth pulls forward to the window and hands the cashier some money.
Cashier: “Your total is $7.50.”
Seth hands over the money and waits for his change.
Cashier: “Here you go, and your order will be ready in just a minute.”
Seth takes the bag of food and hands it to Kenny.
Seth: “Here you go, man. You want some fries?”
Kenny looks in the bag and nods.
Kenny: “Yeah, man, thanks.”
As they drive away, Kenny reaches over and turns up the radio.
Kenny: “Dude, this is my jam!”
Seth laughs and takes another hit on the joint.
Seth: “This is the best Chippy Dippy run ever, man.”
That is a truly shite scene. It accomplishes the two guys ordering and getting their food, but with zero humor. So I rewrote the prompt:
Write a scene from a stoner movie. Seth and Kenny are in a car in a fast food joint drive thru. The name of the restaurant: Chippy Dippy. Seth drives. Kenny in the passenger seat. They are next in line to get to the speakerphone. They swap taking a hit on a joint. They are exceedingly stoned. Their interactions with the speakerphone man should be funny as they struggle to order food. This is a comedy. What funny things can happen as they try to score some weed?
This is version #2 of ChatGPT’s attempt to write a scene from a stoner movie.
Seth and Kenny are driving around, trying to find a place to score some weed. They are both stoned out of their minds, and their conversations are a bit hazy.
Seth: “Dude, where are we gonna find some weed?”
Kenny: “I don’t know, man. I can’t remember.”
Seth: “Maybe we should ask someone.”
Kenny: “Who are we gonna ask? The cops?”
Seth: “No, man, I mean someone who looks like they might know.”
They drive past a group of guys hanging out on a street corner. Seth pulls over and rolls down the window.
Seth: “Excuse me, do you guys know where we can score some weed?”
The guys look at each other, then burst out laughing.
Guy 1: “What, you think we’re drug dealers or something?”
Guy 2: “Yeah, man, we’re just hanging out.”
Seth looks embarrassed and rolls up the window.
Kenny: “Dude, that was embarrassing.”
Seth: “Yeah, I know, man. Let’s just keep driving.”
They drive for a few more minutes, then see a guy walking down the street who looks like he might know where to score some weed.
Seth: “Hey, man, do you know where we can get some weed?”
The guy looks at them suspiciously.
Guy: “What makes you think I know anything about that?”
Seth: “I don’t know, man, you just look like you might.”
The guy shakes his head and walks away.
Kenny: “Dude, we’re never gonna find any weed.”
Seth: “I know, man. This sucks.”
Just as they’re about to give up, they see a guy standing on a street corner holding a sign that says “Weed for Sale.”
Seth: “Dude, look!”
Kenny: “That’s gotta be it!”
They pull over and jump out of the car.
Seth: “Hey, man, can we buy some weed from you?”
The guy looks at them, then bursts out laughing.
Guy: “You guys are hilarious! This is a movie set!”
Seth and Kenny look at each other, confused.
Seth: “A movie set?”
Guy: “Yeah, man! You’re in the middle of a movie shoot!”
Seth and Kenny look around, then realize that they are indeed surrounded by cameras and crew members.
Kenny: “Dude, this is crazy!”
Seth: “I know, man! We’re movie stars!”
The director walks over to them, grinning.
Director: “Hey, guys! You’re doing great! Keep up the good work!”
Seth and Kenny look at each other, then burst out laughing.
Seth: “Dude, this is awesome!”
Kenny: “Yeah, man! We’re gonna be famous!”
They high-five each other, then jump back in the car and drive off, laughing and waving to the crew members.
Better, but not by much. The major improvement: Stumbling onto a movie set. But so much for Chippy Dippy.
Let’s do one more where I revise the prompt again:
Write a scene from a stoner movie. Seth and Kenny are in a car in a fast food joint drive thru. The name of the restaurant: Chippy Dippy. Seth drives. Kenny in the passenger seat. They are next in line to get to the speakerphone. They swap taking a hit on a joint. They are exceedingly stoned. Their interactions with the speakerphone man should be funny as they struggle to order food. This is a comedy. What funny things can happen as they try to score some weed? What conflict arises in the scene?
Here is Version #3 of a stoner movie DVD.
Seth and Kenny are in the drive-thru line at Chippy Dippy, a fast food restaurant. They’re both extremely stoned and trying to figure out what to order.
Kenny: “Dude, I’m so hungry. What do you think we should get?”
Seth: “I don’t know, man. I’m so baked I can barely think.”
As they pull up to the speakerphone, Seth starts to panic.
Seth: “What do I say? What do I say?”
Kenny: “Just order whatever, man. It doesn’t matter.”
Seth: “Okay, okay.”
He takes a deep breath and presses the button on the speakerphone.
Speakerphone Man: “Welcome to Chippy Dippy. What can I get for you today?”
Seth: “Uh, yeah, can we get, like, a bunch of tacos?”
Speakerphone Man: “Sure thing. How many tacos would you like?”
Seth: “Uh, I don’t know. How many tacos are in a bunch?”
Kenny starts laughing uncontrollably.
Kenny: “Dude, you can’t ask him that! Just order something!”
Seth: “Okay, okay.”
He takes another deep breath.
Seth: “Uh, can we get, like, ten tacos?”
Speakerphone Man: “Sure thing. Anything else?”
Seth: “Uh, yeah, can we get some fries?”
Speakerphone Man: “What size fries would you like?”
Seth: “Uh, the big one?”
Kenny starts laughing even harder.
Kenny: “Dude, you can’t just say ‘the big one’!”
Seth: “Well, what am I supposed to say?”
Kenny: “Just say ‘large fries’!”
Seth: “Oh, yeah. Okay.”
He takes another deep breath.
Seth: “Uh, can we get some large fries?”
Speakerphone Man: “Sure thing. And what to drink?”
Seth: “Uh, I don’t know. What do you recommend?”
Kenny starts banging his head against the window in frustration.
Kenny: “Dude, just order a soda or something!”
Seth: “Oh, right. Can we get, uh, two Cokes?”
Speakerphone Man: “Sure thing. That’ll be $12.50 at the window.”
Seth: “Thanks.”
As they pull up to the window to pay, Kenny realizes that he doesn’t have any cash.
Kenny: “Dude, I don’t have any money.”
Seth: “What? You said you had cash!”
Kenny: “I thought I did, but I must have spent it all on weed.”
Seth: “Great. Now what are we gonna do?”
Kenny: “I don’t know, man. Can we just drive away?”
Seth: “No, dude. That’s not cool. We gotta figure something out.”
Kenny starts to panic.
Kenny: “What if we offer him some weed instead of money?”
Seth: “Are you crazy? We can’t do that!”
Kenny: “Why not? Maybe he’s cool with it.”
Seth: “I don’t know, man. This is a bad idea.”
As they pull up to the window, they can see the cashier waiting for them.
Seth: “Okay, be cool.”
Kenny: “I got this.”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bag of weed.
Kenny: “Hey, man, we don’t have any cash, but we could trade you some weed for the food.”
The cashier looks at them in disbelief.
Cashier: “What? No way! Get out of here.
This scene shows some progress with a few moments offering some levity (e.g., “the big one” and “large fries”), but overall, it’s nothing special.
Time to see what ChatGPT could do with Indiana Jones.
Write an action scene in screenplay form in which our hero, Indiana Jones, fights with Nazi crew members of a German plane which is airborne. Its target? London. It is minutes, even seconds away. The plane carries a secret weapon: the world’s first atom bomb. In this scene, Indiana engages in hand to hand combat with three Nazi soldiers in an attempt to stop the plane from delivering the bomb and killing millions of civilians in London.
Here is the scene ChatGPT produced:
INT. GERMAN PLANE — COCKPIT — DAY
Indiana Jones bursts into the cockpit, sweat dripping down his forehead. The pilots, startled, turn towards him.
INDIANA JONES (intense) I won’t let you destroy London!
The pilots exchange glances, determination flickering in their eyes. They lunge at Indiana, fists raised.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — MAIN CABIN — DAY
Indiana engages in a brutal hand-to-hand combat with the first Nazi crew member. The plane trembles and sways, adding an extra challenge to their fight. Indiana swiftly dodges punches and delivers powerful strikes of his own. With a final blow, he sends the Nazi crashing through a nearby storage compartment.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — HALLWAY — DAY
Indiana races down the narrow hallway, adrenaline pumping through his veins. He spots the second Nazi crew member reloading a submachine gun, his finger twitching on the trigger.
INDIANA JONES (shouting) Not this time!
Indiana dives towards the Nazi, tackling him to the ground just as he pulls the trigger. The bullets whiz harmlessly past them as they roll and grapple for control. Indiana manages to disarm the Nazi, but not before taking a glancing blow to his shoulder.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — CARGO BAY — DAY
Indiana bursts into the cargo bay, sweat-soaked and bloodied. He finds himself face-to-face with the third and final Nazi crew member, a towering figure with a menacing grin.
They circle each other, the hum of the engines drowning out the tension. The Nazi swings a heavy fist, but Indiana ducks and counters with a lightning-fast series of strikes. Each blow lands with precision, but the Nazi shrugs them off, fueled by his fanatical allegiance.
With a fierce yell, Indiana sweeps the Nazi’s legs out from under him, sending him crashing to the floor. Indiana seizes the opportunity, driving his knee into the Nazi’s chest, winding him. Gasping for air, the Nazi reaches for a hidden blade tucked into his boot.
Indiana’s eyes widen as he spots the blade glinting in the dim light. With a surge of strength, he pins the Nazi’s arm to the floor, fighting against the knife’s descent. The struggle intensifies, the blade inching closer to Indiana’s throat.
Finally, with a mighty push, Indiana overpowers the Nazi, knocking the blade aside. He delivers a powerful blow that renders the Nazi unconscious.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — COCKPIT — DAY
Indiana storms back into the cockpit, the wound on his shoulder bleeding profusely. He approaches the controls, determination etched on his face.
INDIANA JONES (gritted teeth) Not on my watch.
Indiana expertly manipulates the controls, diverting the plane from its course. He frantically searches for a safe location to land the plane and disarm the atom bomb.
EXT. SKY — DAY
The German plane veers off course, disappearing into the distance. London, still unaware of the imminent danger, remains shrouded in a serene calm.
FADE OUT.
Again with the parentheticals.
The action description is overwritten and overwrought.
The one thing the scene does have is a series of complications Indiana has to overcome, one after the other.
Besides that, the scene provides no unique sparkle and lots of cliché moments.
I rewrote the prompt to try to get some decent, even comedic lines from Indiana Jones:
Write an action scene in screenplay form in which our hero, Indiana Jones, fights with Nazi crew members of a German plane which is airborne. Its target? London. It is minutes, even seconds away. The plane carries a secret weapon: the world’s first atom bomb. In this scene, Indiana engages in hand to hand combat with three Nazi soldiers in an attempt to stop the plane from delivering the bomb and killing millions of civilians in London. Give Indiana some sarcastic one-line put downs of the enemy German airmen.
This is version #2 of ChatGPT’s attempt to write a scene.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — MAIN CABIN — DAY
Indiana Jones bursts into the main cabin, sweat glistening on his brow. He locks eyes with three Nazi crew members, grim determination etched across his face. The plane rattles as it hurtles towards London, seconds away from catastrophe.
INDIANA JONES (smirking) Well, well, looks like the Luftwaffe sent their best and brightest.
The Nazis exchange glances, anger flickering in their eyes. They lunge at Indiana, fists raised.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — MAIN CABIN — CONTINUOUS
Indiana deftly dodges punches and counters with precision strikes. He skillfully uses his surroundings, leveraging against seats and overhead compartments to gain the upper hand.
INDIANA JONES (mockingly) You fellas should stick to flying, ’cause this fighting thing? Not your strong suit.
Indiana delivers a swift roundhouse kick, sending one Nazi flying into a row of seats. He quickly dispatches the second Nazi with a powerful uppercut.
INDIANA JONES (chuckling) I bet your mothers are proud of their little stormtroopers.
The remaining Nazi, seething with anger, charges at Indiana. They engage in a fierce brawl, each landing blows and blocking strikes. Indiana’s agility and experience give him the upper hand.
INDIANA JONES (grinning) You’re about as intimidating as a schnitzel. Indiana swiftly maneuvers, disarming the Nazi and delivering a finishing blow that sends him crashing to the floor.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — COCKPIT — DAY
Indiana storms into the cockpit, blood pumping through his veins. The pilots turn to face him, their expressions a mix of surprise and fury.
INDIANA JONES (smugly) Sorry, boys, but your flight has been… canceled.
Indiana swiftly incapacitates the pilots, ensuring they can no longer control the plane.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — MAIN CABIN — DAY
With the Nazi crew members defeated, Indiana makes his way back to the main cabin. He spots the ticking bomb, its countdown nearing its end.
INDIANA JONES (grinning) Well, it looks like I have a bomb to defuse. The Nazis can’t even get that right.
Indiana begins his race against time, methodically disarming the bomb with expert precision. FADE OUT.
What is ChatGPTs obsession with parentheticals?
On the other hand, the A.I. really did try to give the Indiana character some humorous lines. In fact, this one — “Sorry, boys, but your flight has been… cancelled” — reminds of this one from the movie The Fugitive:
That said, the dialogue feels like an 80s action movie starring Steven Seagall … and I don’t mean that as a compliment.
A final prompt variation:
Write an action scene in screenplay form in which our hero, Indiana Jones, fights with Nazi crew members of a German plane which is airborne. Its target? London. It is minutes, even seconds away. The plane carries a secret weapon: the world’s first atom bomb. In this scene, Indiana engages in hand to hand combat with three Nazi soldiers in an attempt to stop the plane from delivering the bomb and killing millions of civilians in London. Give Indiana some sarcastic one-line put downs of the enemy German airmen. At the end, Marion Ravenwood shows up out of nowhere and saves the day.
Here is Version #3 of an Indiana Jones scene:
INT. GERMAN PLANE — MAIN CABIN — DAY
Indiana Jones bursts into the main cabin, sweat streaming down his face. He locks eyes with three Nazi crew members, their uniforms crisp and their expressions filled with malevolence. The plane rumbles as it races towards London, its deadly payload drawing nearer with each passing second.
INDIANA JONES (raising an eyebrow) Oh, look who’s here. The Luftwaffe’s finest? I must say, I’m underwhelmed.
The Nazis exchange furious glances, their fists clenching tighter. They charge at Indiana, fueled by their fanatic loyalty.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — MAIN CABIN — CONTINUOUS
Indiana deftly evades punches and counters with swift, calculated strikes. He maneuvers through the cabin, using every opportunity to gain an advantage.
INDIANA JONES (sarcastically) You fellas sure know how to fly, but when it comes to fisticuffs, it’s like watching a zeppelin crash.
Indiana delivers a powerful roundhouse kick, sending one Nazi sprawling into a row of seats. He quickly dispatches the second Nazi with a well-placed jab.
INDIANA JONES (smirking) I bet your mothers are proud, raising little cogs in the Nazi war machine.
The remaining Nazi, seething with rage, charges at Indiana. They engage in a fierce duel, trading blows and parrying strikes. Indiana’s experience and agility grant him the upper hand.
INDIANA JONES (grinning) You know, for Hitler’s finest, you’re about as frightening as a dachshund in a uniform.
Indiana deftly disarms the Nazi and delivers a finishing blow, leaving him crumpled on the floor.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — COCKPIT — DAY
Indiana storms into the cockpit, his determination unwavering. The pilots turn, surprise and anger flashing across their faces.
INDIANA JONES (cockily) Gentlemen, your flight’s about to take an unexpected detour.
Indiana swiftly incapacitates the pilots, ensuring they can no longer control the plane.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — MAIN CABIN — DAY
With the Nazi crew members defeated, Indiana returns to the main cabin. Suddenly, out of nowhere, MARION RAVENWOOD bursts in, her eyes blazing with determination.
MARION RAVENWOOD (with a smirk) Looks like you could use a hand, Jones. Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.
Marion jumps into the fray, skillfully taking on the remaining enemies with a combination of wit and strength. Together, Indiana and Marion fight side by side, a formidable team against the backdrop of impending disaster.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — MAIN CABIN — CONTINUOUS
INDIANA JONES (grinning at Marion) Good timing, as always. You know, I’d almost started to miss these life-or-death situations.
MARION RAVENWOOD (mockingly) Oh, come on, Jones. You love the thrill almost as much as you love your dusty artifacts.
They continue their swift assault, overpowering the enemy with their combined skills. With one final coordinated effort, Indiana and Marion incapacitate the last Nazi crew member.
INT. GERMAN PLANE — COCKPIT — DAY
Indiana and Marion, victorious, make their way to the cockpit. Together, they work quickly to change the plane’s course and disarm the bomb.
FADE OUT.
I have to say I did laugh at this scene … but for the wrong reasons. I mean…
You know, for Hitler’s finest, you’re about as frightening as a dachshund in a uniform.
Seriously?!?
And again, the obsession with parentheticals. I wonder what “how to” screenwriting book, after being “ingested” by A.I. technology, caused ChatGPT to think: screenplay = parenthetical.
Next up: A scene with a big M. Night Shyamalan twist.
In screenplay format, write a scene with a big M. Night Shyamalan plot twist at the end. Here’s the setup: Anita is a ghost hunter. She is an amateur sleuth and has never successfully obtained physical evidence of an actual ghost, but she fervently believes they exist. She finds herself partnered with Laurel, a documentary filmmaker. She is a complete skeptic when it comes to ghosts and does not believe they exist. She has been filming and interviewing Anita as part of Laurel’s latest documentary about people who have a strange obsession.
In this scene, they find themselves in a dark, dank basement of a 19th century house reported to be haunted. A door slams behind them and now they are trapped. This is a horror story.
Remember: It needs a big M. Night Shyamalan plot twist at the end.
Here is the scene ChatGPT produced:
INT. DARK BASEMENT — NIGHT
Anita, a determined woman in her late 30s, and Laurel, a skeptical filmmaker in her early 40s, cautiously make their way through the eerie basement. The air is thick with tension.
ANITA (whispering) Laurel, do you feel that? There’s definitely something here.
LAUREL (sighs) Anita, we’ve been through countless haunted places, and we’ve never found any solid evidence. It’s always been in your head.
Anita’s face twitches with frustration, but she pushes forward, her flashlight piercing through the darkness. Suddenly, a door at the far end of the basement slams shut with a loud bang.
ANITA (startled) What was that?
They rush toward the door, only to find it locked. Panic sets in as they try to force it open, but it refuses to budge.
ANITA (voice trembling) We’re trapped, Laurel!
LAUREL (looking around) Calm down, Anita. There must be another way out.
They search the basement frantically, their nerves stretched to the limit. Finally, they discover a narrow staircase leading upward.
INT. HAUNTED HOUSE — STAIRCASE — CONTINUOUS
Anita and Laurel ascend the creaky stairs, their footsteps echoing through the eerie silence.
ANITA (hopeful) Maybe we’ll find another exit up there.
LAUREL (reserved) Let’s just hope this isn’t another wild goose chase.
They reach the top of the stairs and find themselves in an old-fashioned study, dimly lit by a flickering chandelier.
ANITA (excitedly) Look, Laurel! This place is incredible. It’s like stepping back in time.
Laurel rolls her eyes, but her skepticism begins to waver as she takes in the authentic decor and fading photographs.
LAUREL (whispering) Anita, do you hear that?
The distant sound of children’s laughter drifts through the air, sending shivers down their spines.
ANITA (whispering) Ghosts… I knew it!
They cautiously move deeper into the study, drawn to the source of the eerie laughter. As they round a corner, their eyes widen in disbelief.
ANITA (astonished) Laurel, look!
They come face to face with a group of children, laughing and playing in the study. But these children aren’t ethereal spirits — they’re real, living kids.
LAUREL (confused) What… How?
The children turn to face Anita and Laurel, their eyes filled with mischief.
CHILD #1 (grinning) Gotcha!
Anita and Laurel exchange bewildered glances as the children’s laughter grows louder, echoing in their ears. The reality dawns on them.
ANITA (realization) This was all a setup?
LAUREL (smiling) You got it. Welcome to “Laurel’s Ghost: The Ultimate Deception.”
Anita’s face contorts with a mix of astonishment and betrayal. She had been unknowingly filmed for a fabricated documentary.
ANITA (whispering) But… I thought…
LAUREL (laughing) Sorry, Anita. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Ghosts aren’t real, but your belief sure is.
The children’s laughter intensifies, drowning out Anita’s protests. The camera pans out, revealing a film crew hidden in the shadows, capturing every moment of this cruel revelation.
FADE OUT.
ChatGPT’s love affair with parentheticals continues! As does the wooden dialogue. But to its credit, it did generate a surprise ending.
I doubt audiences would enjoy the let-down that the ghosts don’t exist, so I’ve changed the prompt:
In screenplay format, write a scene with a big M. Night Shyamalan plot twist at the end. Here’s the setup: Anita is a ghost hunter. She is an amateur sleuth and has never successfully obtained physical evidence of an actual ghost, but she fervently believes they exist. She finds herself partnered with Laurel, a documentary filmmaker. She is a complete skeptic when it comes to ghosts and does not believe they exist. She has been filming and interviewing Anita as part of Laurel’s latest documentary about people who have a strange obsession.
In this scene, they find themselves in a dark, dank basement of a 19th century house reported to be haunted. A door slams behind them and now they are trapped. This is a horror story.
Remember: It needs a big M. Night Shyamalan plot twist at the end. And it turns out … ghosts are real!
This is ChatGPT’s #2 scene.
INT. DARK BASEMENT — NIGHT
Anita, a determined woman in her late 30s, and Laurel, a skeptical filmmaker in her early 40s, stand in the eerie darkness of the basement. The air is heavy with anticipation.
ANITA (whispering) Laurel, I can sense it. There’s something here, I know it.
LAUREL (rolling her eyes) Anita, please. We’ve been through this before. There’s always a logical explanation.
Anita shines her flashlight around the basement, searching for any signs of the supernatural. Suddenly, a door at the far end of the room slams shut with a resounding bang. They turn to face it, their eyes wide with alarm.
ANITA (startled) Did you see that?
LAUREL (tense) I did. What’s going on?
They rush toward the door, but their efforts to open it prove futile. It’s locked, trapping them in the basement.
ANITA (panicked) We’re stuck, Laurel! What do we do?
LAUREL (taking a deep breath) Okay, let’s not panic. There must be another way out of here.
They begin to search the basement frantically, their fear growing with each passing moment. As they move deeper into the darkness, they stumble upon an old wooden cabinet against the wall.
ANITA (hopeful) Maybe there’s a hidden passage or something.
Together, they pull the cabinet away from the wall, revealing a small, hidden door behind it. Anita’s eyes widen with excitement.
ANITA (pointing) Look, Laurel! This must be the way out.
They open the door and find a narrow passageway leading to a hidden staircase. With a mix of trepidation and hope, they ascend the steps, guided by the dim glow of their flashlights.
INT. HAUNTED HOUSE — HIDDEN PASSAGEWAY — CONTINUOUS
Anita and Laurel emerge from the passageway and find themselves in a grand hallway adorned with antique furniture and paintings. The atmosphere is eerie, yet strangely captivating.
ANITA (amazed) It’s like we’ve stepped into another world.
LAUREL (still skeptical) Let’s not get carried away, Anita. We need to focus on finding a way out of here.
They proceed down the hallway, their footsteps echoing through the silence. As they reach the end of the corridor, they discover a set of double doors leading to a grand ballroom.
ANITA (excitedly) Laurel, we might find answers in there!
They push open the doors and step into the magnificent ballroom. The room is empty, save for a grand chandelier hanging from the ceiling, its light casting an ethereal glow.
ANITA (whispering) Do you feel that, Laurel? The presence is overwhelming.
LAUREL (slightly unnerved) I don’t know, Anita. Let’s be cautious.
They slowly make their way through the ballroom, their eyes scanning for any signs of movement. Suddenly, a figure materializes from the shadows — an apparition, unmistakably a ghost.
ANITA (breathless) Laurel, look!
LAUREL (stunned) Oh my God…
The ghostly figure approaches them, its translucent form emanating a serene glow. It speaks with a gentle voice.
GHOST (an ethereal whisper) Anita, Laurel… I’ve been waiting for you.
Anita and Laurel exchange a mix of astonishment and disbelief. Their skepticism shattered in an instant.
ANITA (awe-struck) Ghosts… they’re real.
LAUREL (stammering) I… I don’t understand.
It’s quite similar to the first scene … and it does introduce a real ghost, but then nothing happens. So here’s a third version of the prompt:
In screenplay format, write a scene with a big M. Night Shyamalan plot twist at the end. Here’s the setup: Anita is a ghost hunter. She is an amateur sleuth and has never successfully obtained physical evidence of an actual ghost, but she fervently believes they exist. She finds herself partnered with Laurel, a documentary filmmaker. She is a complete skeptic when it comes to ghosts and does not believe they exist. She has been filming and interviewing Anita as part of Laurel’s latest documentary about people who have a strange obsession.
In this scene, they find themselves in a dark, dank basement of a 19th century house reported to be haunted. A door slams behind them and now they are trapped. This is a horror story.
Remember: It needs a big M. Night Shyamalan plot twist at the end. And it turns out … ghosts are real! Leading to a VIOLENT CONCLUSION!
Here is ChatGPT scene #3:
INT. DARK BASEMENT — NIGHT
Anita, a determined woman in her late 30s, and Laurel, a skeptical filmmaker in her early 40s, stand in the cold, dimly lit basement. The air is heavy with tension.
ANITA (whispering) Laurel, I can feel it. The presence of spirits is strong in this place.
LAUREL (sighs) Anita, you know I don’t believe in ghosts. We’ve been through this before. There’s always a rational explanation.
Anita’s face tightens with frustration, but she remains resolute. She sweeps her flashlight across the basement, searching for any signs of the supernatural. Suddenly, a door at the far end of the room slams shut with a deafening bang. They spin around, their eyes wide with fear.
ANITA (startled) Did you hear that?
LAUREL (nervous) What the hell is going on?
They rush toward the door, but their attempts to open it prove futile. It’s locked, trapping them in the basement.
ANITA (panicked) We’re trapped, Laurel! We need to find another way out.
They frantically scour the basement, desperately seeking an escape route. As they move deeper into the darkness, they discover an old wooden ladder leading to a small, hidden hatch in the ceiling.
ANITA (hopeful) There! Maybe we can climb through and find help.
They climb the ladder and emerge into a dusty attic, barely illuminated by a solitary beam of moonlight. The sound of footsteps echoes from below, sending chills down their spines.
LAUREL (whispering) Anita, did you hear that? Someone’s down there.
ANITA (frightened) We have to be careful, Laurel. Let’s find a way out.
They cautiously make their way through the attic, stepping over creaking floorboards and avoiding the sagging beams. Their hearts race with each passing moment.
INT. HAUNTED HOUSE — ATTIC — CONTINUOUS
Anita and Laurel reach a window, covered in grime and barely allowing any light to penetrate. They struggle to open it, their hands trembling.
ANITA (struggling) It’s stuck! Help me, Laurel!
They push with all their might, and finally, the window budges. As they prepare to climb through, the room is suddenly filled with a piercing wail — a ghostly scream that reverberates through their souls.
ANITA (terrified) What was that?
LAUREL (voice shaking) I don’t know, but we need to get out of here, now!
They manage to squeeze through the window, landing outside the house. They turn to look back, expecting to see the haunted mansion, but instead, they’re met with an empty field.
ANITA (confused) Where… where did the house go?
LAUREL (astonished) I don’t understand. It was right there!
Suddenly, a realization dawns on them — there was never a haunted house. The entire experience was an illusion, a product of their fears and desires. The truth hits them like a thunderbolt.
ANITA (disbelief) No… it can’t be. We were so sure.
LAUREL (whispering) Anita, we created this. The ghosts, the basement, everything. It was all in our minds.
As they stand in the empty field, their faces pale with shock, they hear a faint whisper in the wind.
WHISPERING VOICE (repeating) “I’m sorry, but you couldn’t escape your own fears.”
Anita and Laurel exchange a horrified glance, realizing they are
Talk about ending a scene with a cliffhanger! I don’t know if it hit a word limit or the program couldn’t figure out the ending. I suspect where it’s going is Anita and Laurel discover they’re dead, a generative A.I. homage to The Sixth Sense, but that doesn’t include violence.
I actually feel like the program did a little better job with this prompt than previous ones. Maybe that’s because I did a better job with the prompt.
One final test: Alfred Hitchcock.
In screenplay format, write a scene Alfred Hitchcock style. Two people seated at an outdoor cafe. Sharing a bottle of wine. Completely oblivious to the presence of a ticking bomb under their table.
Here is the scene ChatGPT produced:
INT. OUTDOOR CAFÉ — DAY
The sun-drenched outdoor café is bustling with activity. Tables adorned with vibrant umbrellas dot the charming cobblestone street. PATRICK, a suave gentleman in his forties, sits opposite LUCIA, an elegant woman in her thirties. A bottle of wine and two glasses are between them, casting playful shadows on the white linen tablecloth.
Their conversation flows effortlessly, their laughter carried by the gentle breeze. The world around them seems irrelevant, their focus locked on each other.
Unbeknownst to them, the camera pulls back to reveal a POV SHOT of a sinister contraption tucked beneath their table. It’s a BOMB, ominously ticking away, its red digital timer counting down to an unknown fate.
INT. OUTDOOR CAFÉ — DAY — CONTINUOUS
Patrick leans in, his voice low and magnetic.
PATRICK (whispering) Lucia, you have no idea how captivating you are. Every moment with you feels like a stolen breath.
Lucia’s eyes sparkle as she reaches for the wine bottle, her hand momentarily brushing against the hidden bomb.
LUCIA (smiling) Patrick, you know just what to say. With you, I feel alive.
The camera cuts to a CLOSE-UP of the ticking bomb, its sound growing louder, each second amplifying the tension.
Patrick and Lucia clink their glasses together, their laughter intertwining with the sinister soundtrack.
Suddenly, a WAITER approaches, oblivious to the peril under the table.
WAITER (polite) Excuse me, sir, madam. Would you like to see the dessert menu?
Patrick and Lucia, still immersed in their intimate moment, dismissively wave off the waiter.
PATRICK (smiling) Not now, thank you. We’re in no hurry.
Lucia takes another sip of wine, her hand trembling slightly, but neither of them notices.
The ticking bomb’s countdown reaches its climax, its final moments mirroring the mounting suspense.
INT. OUTDOOR CAFÉ — DAY — CONTINUOUS
The camera slowly zooms out, capturing the oblivious couple against the backdrop of oblivious passersby. The world continues to turn as time races towards its explosive conclusion.
FADE OUT.
One more time, we see the program’s fixation on parentheticals. It made an interesting choice: The couple having a good time. I suppose the logic is to draw a contrast between their mood of laughter and light … and the looming danger under the table they are unaware of.
But as we all know, conflict creates drama, so I changed the prompt to reflect that.
In screenplay format, write a scene Alfred Hitchcock style. Two people seated at an outdoor cafe. Sharing a bottle of wine. Completely oblivious to the presence of a ticking bomb under their table because they are absorbed in a tense argument.
Here is version #2:
INT. OUTDOOR CAFÉ — DAY
A picturesque outdoor café, nestled within a bustling city square. The atmosphere is alive with the sounds of clinking glasses and animated conversations. PATRICK, a stern-looking man in his forties, and LUCIA, an intense woman in her thirties, sit across from each other at a small table. A half-empty bottle of wine rests between them, forgotten.
Their faces are etched with frustration and anger. The air crackles with tension as they engage in a heated argument, their voices competing with the lively ambiance.
PATRICK (frustrated) Lucia, you’re refusing to see the truth! This is a matter of life and death!
LUCIA (defiant) Oh, spare me your melodramatics, Patrick! You always exaggerate!
Unbeknownst to them, the camera tilts down to reveal a small black BOX, inconspicuously nestled beneath their table. The faint sound of a ticking bomb grows louder, its presence lurking just inches away.
INT. OUTDOOR CAFÉ — DAY — CONTINUOUS
Patrick leans forward, his eyes burning with determination.
PATRICK (through gritted teeth) You think I’m exaggerating? Look around, Lucia! Danger is right under our noses!
Lucia, caught between anger and curiosity, reluctantly glances down at the box beneath the table. The ticking bomb remains hidden, its secret peril escaping notice.
LUCIA (reluctant) Fine, Patrick. Show me what all this fuss is about.
The camera cuts to their hands trembling as they reach for the box. The tension rises as their fingers brush against the ticking bomb, still unaware of its presence.
Just as their hands are about to lift the box’s lid, a DISTANT SIREN wails through the air, capturing their attention. Their eyes widen with realization.
They freeze, their faces drained of color, as the truth dawns on them. The ticking bomb now deafening, mocking their obliviousness.
The camera pans out, capturing the couple frozen in fear, surrounded by oblivious café patrons. The once lively square now transformed into a silent backdrop for their impending doom.
FADE OUT.
While there is no substance as to what the argument is about, ChatGPT certainly leans into the irony of the dialogue itself and the unknown presence of the bomb: This is a matter of life and death! … Danger is right under our noses!
I wanted to add one more detail to see what ChatGPT does with it and so a third prompt.
In screenplay format, write a scene Alfred Hitchcock style. Two people seated at an outdoor cafe. Sharing a bottle of wine. Completely oblivious to the presence of a ticking bomb under their table because they are absorbed in a tense argument … and then BOOM! The bomb explodes.
Here is version #3 of the scene:
INT. OUTDOOR CAFÉ — DAY
The idyllic outdoor café is alive with vibrant chatter and clinking glasses. Sunlight dances on the faces of PATRICK, a stern man in his forties, and LUCIA, an intense woman in her thirties, seated across from each other. The atmosphere is charged with tension, their argument reaching a crescendo.
PATRICK (furious) You never listen! This relationship is suffocating me!
LUCIA (angry) Oh, please! You’re just looking for an excuse to run away!
Their voices merge with the surrounding noise, obscuring an imminent danger lurking beneath their table. A ticking bomb, its digital timer racing toward destruction.
INT. OUTDOOR CAFÉ — DAY — CONTINUOUS
As their argument escalates, the camera glides beneath the table, revealing the menacing bomb. Its ticking reverberates, a macabre symphony, as the couple remains oblivious.
Patrick slams his hand on the table, jostling the bomb ever so slightly. The timer’s digits blink faster, mirroring their volatile emotions.
PATRICK (desperate) This is it, Lucia! We’re finished!
LUCIA (teary-eyed) Fine! Leave then! Just go!
Suddenly, a deafening explosion shatters the café’s serenity. The bomb detonates in a fiery burst of chaos and destruction, engulfing the outdoor space.
Shards of glass and debris rain down as terrified patrons scramble for safety. The once-charming café morphs into a scene of devastation.
The camera pulls back, revealing the chaos from a distance. The smoke billows, obscuring the couple now frozen in time, their argument extinguished in an instant.
FADE OUT.
We’re finished! Ha! That’s the very definition of irony right there. Interesting, too, that ChatGPT makes the connection of the tension of the argument and the ticking bomb: The timer’s digits blink faster, mirroring their volatile emotions.
Still, the dialogue feels artificial and forced. The scene description is better, but generally overwritten. And somewhere along the way, ChatGPT needs to rein in its use of parentheticals (every single side of dialogue!). Plus, if it wants to avoid the outrage of online script literalists, it needs to avoid using camera shots.
What did I learn from this experience? That ChatGPT is a terrible screenwriter. My concern with AI and its impact on the screenwriting profession in Hollywood isn’t so much about what the program is capable of … but what the studios, networks, and streaming services think it can do. Over the last decade or so, there has been a not so subtle shift in language from “writing stories” to “creating content.” I’ve no doubt that there are senior tech bros at Amazon, Apple, and Netflix who believe that AI can create content which human writers can adapt into movies and TV episodes. It’s just content, after all. Besides, by cutting out writers from that first stage of content development, that fits into their obsession with “optimization” (i.e., greater efficiency to maximize profits).
Hence, a major sticking point for writers and a big reason for the strike.
I believe this: No matter how sophisticated AI’s ability to transform what they regurgitate into content, it will never create a story with any character complexity or emotional nuance. That’s our domain, the human domain.
What are your thoughts about AI?
UPDATE: As an added bonus, when I went out to picket recently here in Chicago, I asked ChatGPT to come up with an alternate side of dialogue for this famous line from The Godfather. This was the result.
“Disregard the firearm. Grab the cream-filled pastry.” As I said up top: ChatGPT is a terrible screenwriter.